Every year, New Zealanders polish off 123 million tasty snacks.

Say it slowly - one-hundred-and-twenty-three-million-pies! That's quite a mouthful. Put another way, 10 pies were eaten in NZ while you read this.

Funnyman Jon Bridges gets amongst it, touring in his yellow mini to meet the true faces behind such astonishing statistics. He tussles with the metal detector at Ponsonby Pies, gets the lowdown on the demise of the Georgie Pie chain, and meets a lone travelling salesman who eats over 700 pies a year!

In Hastings, Jon meets the Tiger Woods of pies - baker James Buckrell, winner of a total of nine gold medals at the NZ Pie Awards.

In Matamata, Jon is converted by Hangi In A Pie visionary, Ron Smith MBE.

Only in Wellington would you find a pie consultant and a pie historian. Jon learns that although Kiwis eat more pies per capita than just about anyone on earth, pies were probably first invented in Greece.

Down to the Mainland he meets the ex-cop who founded Quentins, and travels to the home of the legendary Jimmy's Pies - the mighty town of Roxburgh - where he learns that the best pie ever seen in New Zealand contained, wait for it, green apple.

Jon is a well known stage comedian, breakfast DJ on Channel Z, and presenter of TV shows Ice TV, Risk and So You Think You're Funny.

Behind the Scenes

Georgie Pie Poem by Jon
There are ghosts in white outfits
They are working the till
There are ghostly pale patrons they are eating their fill
Eating one dollar pies
Eating one dollar pies
But the dream is long dead
And the ovens are cold
And the grease has been biffed out
And the mince maker sold
Selling one dollar pies
Selling one dollar pies
And the kids that once worked here are now parents, their old
And the skaters won't skate here, since the fires are cold
Under broad Waikato skies, on this boulevard of broken pies.


School Pie Poem by Jon
The canteen lady's Marks mother
Doesn't mean she'll give us another sally lun
But please Marks mum, slide my pie into a paper bag
At this rate I'll get my drivers license before I get to the front of this line
Life is passing by and this one-dollar note is getting sweaty in my hand
But lunch has only begun and the pie as hot as sun on the ashfelt
Will burn my mouth before we get outside
Where our only goals are made from jerseys on the field
History's hours away, there's a lifetime in my bag
And this pies not even half-eaten.


Poem for the Beasts by Jon
At a hundred million pies a year
It's lucky sheep and cows and deer
Stick up their hooves and volunteer
To be inside our pies
They come on four legs wrapped in leather,
The sheep the cow the ram the weather
Hustle bustle, flock together
Keen to be in pies
From countryside to countryside one hundred to a truck they ride
And each one bursts with joy and pride to know they're making pies
For us it's just a tasty snack
They give their legs and bits of back
They know they'll never get them back
They're proud to be in pies
Remember what comes wrapped in crust before was wrapped in wool and thus
Remember them 'cos they can't remember us, the beasts that fill our pies
Thank you guys.


Forgotten Pie Poem by Jon
The game is won, the crowd is gone calling Highlanders
But the pie man does not remember, he left me here for later
I'm not the oval ball, but oval and eatable
Left below a wooden seat
The beat of fans feet now distant
As the floodlights die defeated and beaten into the darkness by the chilly night
Please eat me, just put tooth to crust and crush through to mince
I'm invincible, unless you forget me
Don't let me lie
Try me
Try me
Try
Try!!!

Cast and Crew

Presented by Jon Bridges

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